Jun 23, 2020
 in 
News

‘I’ve never flown to Jeffrey Epstein’s private island,’ says man on boat heading to Jeffrey Epstein’s private island

U

.S. VIRGIN ISLANDS — “I’ve never flown to Jeffrey Epstein’s private island,” attorney Alan Dershowitz said to no one in particular Monday night as his chartered boat made its way toward Jeffrey Epstein’s private island. 

“I have neither piloted nor been a passenger in a plane, helicopter or flying car heading to Jeffrey Epstein’s private island,” Dershowitz elaborated. “Nor have I ever walked or swam to Jeffrey Epstein’s private island. Furthermore, I have never taken a jet ski, a kayak or a rowboat to Jeffrey Epstein’s private island.”

Legal observers were impressed with how carefully and specifically Dershowitz made his case, hailing it as unassailable proof that no one could ever find unassailable proof against him.

“These are clearly the words of an experienced lawyer who has done an excellent, maybe even obsessive job ensuring that he doesn’t leave a paper trail of going to Jeffrey Epstein’s private island,” CNN chief legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin said soon after the boat, which was rented by an anonymous shell corporation, docked at Jeffrey Epstein’s private island. “All you can really do at this point is tip your cap and congratulate him on getting away with it.”