UPITER, FL — In an astonishing twist that left media observers reeling, alleged satire website The Babylon Bee briefly ran a funny article for the first time in its history Friday morning.
While the article's title and content have been meticulously scrubbed from the internet because anything that provokes genuine laughter rather than pitying chuckles is not considered "on brand" by the publication's editors, an inside source who caught a peek at the short-lived piece said that it lacked the one-note attempts at humor and mandatory use of the word “Antifa” that have come to define the site’s identity.
Known for its stunningly large following of boomers who are often confused into thinking that it runs humorous headlines with incisive right-wing political commentary, the Bee reportedly became aware of the issue when laughter was heard in its offices for the first time. Its editors then rushed to delete the article before the site’s reputation could be affected by such a grave oversight.
“This is a historic first,” said Richard Kleimenthaler, a media critic who has followed the publication’s meteoric rise to the top of mediocrity. “When I see a Babylon Bee headline, I expect three things: awkward phrasing, dated cultural references, and of course, unoriginal and poorly articulated stereotypes about liberals. As soon as I saw this headline and actually laughed at it, I knew someone was about to get fired.”
In response to a request for comment, Babylon Bee editor-in-chief Kyle Mann issued a terse apology: “Shortly after publishing this story, our team determined that it did not meet our strict editorial standards, which forbid us to post articles that provoke laughter, chortling, giggles, guffaws, or any other genuine expression of mirth. We sincerely regret the error.”
[Photo by Elijah O'Donnell on Unsplash]